And if you dont get any snow.........
A FEW WITTICISMS
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
There's too much blood in my alcohol system.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute!
I don't care, I don't have to.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
All men are idiots ... I married their king.
The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.
If something goes without saying, LET IT!
If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
I'm just driving this way to wind you up.
Hard work has a future payoff, laziness pays off now.
If you don't like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk.
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Keep honking, I'm reloading.
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
This would be really funny if it wasn't happening to me.
I have the body of a god... Buddha!
I get enough exercise pushing my luck.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep
Guns don't kill people... but they make it real easy.
I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at maths.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
*** on television can't hurt you... unless you fall off.